THE NAKED TRUTH ABOUT REAL ESTATE by EDDY PYBUS
MAKING NIAGARA REAL ESTATE MORE ATTRACTIVE ONE HAIRCUT AT A TIME
Mother always said, “Never judge a book by its cover. And always judge a real estate agent by their hair". Bad hair simply begs the question, “What’s under that nest?” Are you prepared to entrust one of the most significant transactions of your life to outdated hair? Nothing is a better indicator that a realtor is out of touch with the current environment than a mullet. 80’s mall hair does have its place in society. But do you want it representing you in a turbulent market? And why do realtors use 25 year old photos to showcase themselves today? It’s an age-old coverup and nothing to be alarmed about. However, if a realtor is not prepared to be current and transparent with their photo, what else will be covered up when you’re being guided on some of the most important decisions you'll ever make?
This is me over 20 years ago.
I promise never to use this photo
to trick my clients.
WHAT BAD HAIR SAYS ABOUT YOUR REALTOR
The Mullet:
For the Mullet, the curb appeal may be adorable, but the back yard needs an intervention. Expect sales techniques that sound like, "Don't you just love this couch on the front porch?" or "The appliances in the yard are negotiable."
The Mall Hair:
Rather than remaining focused on today's real estate market, The Mall Hair takes frequent detours down memory lane. Be prepared for stories about how items in your home remind The Mall Hairs of their traumatic teen experiences responsible for freezing their hair in time.
The Farrah Feather:
Expect The Farrah to be 15 minutes late and arrive shrouded in a fresh cloud of hair product. Since they are adverse to physical labor, The Farrah will have you check out the upstairs on your own. Be prepared for advice like "Increase your home value by covering up that unfortunate oak floor with a classic shag."
The Kate Gosselin:
If someone is sporting The Gosselin it is a clear indication they are a fan with lofty aspirations. What more does one need to know? Expect insights like "When you squint your eyes, that collapsed above-ground pool looks exactly like an infinity pool." For sellers, The Gosselin will always point out that you don't have enough tossed pillows to attract the right buyer.
The Boof:
Also known as "The Wikileaks", Boofs collect and store classified misinformation in their hair. They spend more time gossiping about fellow realtors and boasting their accomplishments than listening to your needs. Although their craniums appear to be the most endowed, The Boof has the shortest attention span and struggles to remember names.
The Circus:
Unnatural hair coloring is a technique used by The Circus to distract you from their general lack of knowledge, the water stains on the ceiling and their unusually small hands.
The Slicker:
The Slicker may be perfectly likable over the phone. But when your realtor drives up in a yellow mustang and more than one gold chain, tread lightly. Expect everything you don't like about a home to be responded to with "Bro, that's nothing a couple bucks won't fix".
In my next article we'll explore the subject of bad shoes, fake handbags and the impact that both can have on your real estate experience.
Seriously, I’m Eddy Pybus and I believe realtors should be slightly less annoying. I'm committed to serving you with integrity, transparency and no bad hair. And let's face it, the only thing more annoying than a realtor with bad hair is trying to sell your home on your own. I'm here to help so you don't have to go it alone. Call today and let's sell your home together or find you a new one. My service is 100% backed by my I-Look-Like-My-Photo Guarantee.
If you're a realtor in search of answers to bad hair and fake photos, please keep reading below.
Eddy Pybus
RE/MAX Niagara Realty Ltd.Bus: 905.356.9600
Cell: 289.219.4111
Email: eddy@listwitheddy.com
Website: www.NoBadHair.com
Dear Fellow Realtor,
Welcome to NoBadHair.com. Having bad hair is a common flaw that manifests itself for one of three reasons. 1) People are afraid of you and don't want to tell you the truth about your hair. 2) People have told you and you're not listening. Or 3) The people you surround yourself with have bad hair too and don't know the difference. Regardless, the core problem is far more serious than your hair.
The good news is, you're not alone. Statistics and thousands of business cards with fake photos across Canada prove that most realtors suffer from bad hair, and at least 10% suffer from delusions of having superior hair when in fact they are merely passable.
But take heart. There is hope. All you need to turn this situation around are regular visits to an effective hair dresser, a new set of friends who are not afraid of you, a reality check and a fresh photo.
For a personal hair intervention call the No Bad Hair Hotline at 905-358-8222. Ask for Karoline.
For a high quality fresh photo call the No Fake Photo Hotline at 905-401-4855. Ask for Allistair.
Tell them Eddy sent you.
Very truly yours,
Eddy Pybus
PS: If you feel this information will help take you to the next level, or if you have a close friend in need, please forward or share.
